Stooping To Conker!As most of us know, a “chestnut” is a slogan that crops up again and again on winners lists. Whatever our opinion on the subject, as compers we must acknowledge and accept that chestnuts are here to stay. While there are doubtless a few people out there who deliberately enter every single competition with an unashamed chestnut, I think that the vast majority of us try our best to be original. But this doesn’t preclude us from submitting the occasional conker! There’s no harm in trying, we might think, if we have a spare qualifier (at the very worst, we’ll be doing our comping duty by duplicating and thus cancelling out similar efforts). Or if certain elements of a comp make a chestnut seem a sensible strategy (inexperienced promoter, for example). Sometimes we might simply submit a chestnut by accident – a subliminal memory of a past winners list maybe, or a cracking “first thought” that will probably be a lot of other peoples first thought too.
I often receive questions on this subject, covering everything from definitions to etiquette. This month, I’m going to try to answer as many of your queries as possible. I don’t pretend that this is a definitive “chestnut” article, as it’s led by your questions and they are a somewhat eclectic mix! As usual though, if you think that there’s anything missing, or you have your own questions or ideas for future columns, just drop me a line at the CN address.
First up then, when is a chestnut not a chestnut? Well, opinions on this one differ. “Experts perfect them, connoisseurs select them” is clearly a chestnut – probably the best known and most quoted of them all. But would you see a slight variation of this most blatant example in a different light? “Sexperts perfect them…” for an Ann Summers comp perhaps? By doing this, you are attempting to make the slogan apt – albeit with the minimum of effort! – but would this be enough to stop the usual rolling of eyes when the winners list is published? Not that it matters two hoots what other people think, of course (you won, they didn’t, end of story). But clearly, there are many definitions of what is or isn’t a chestnut. Some people consider it to be a specific, particular group of words – they’ll be the ones who are the first to congratulate you on your “sexperts” variation. But others see a chestnut as a general idea that keeps on winning – “sexperts” won’t be good enough for them, and they’ll bemoan instead your blatant “perfect / select” couplet. We can apply the same criteria to most of the well-known chestnuts. Take another infamous example. In its unadorned generic chestnut form, it would be a fairly mundane “The prize excites me, the product delights me, hope you invite me”. But most compers, even the most lackadaisical chestnut plucker, will make the line apt (and probably even original!) by mentioning the actual prize, product and promoter. But even though you’ve made the effort, and have arrived at “Blackpool excites me, mushy peas delight me, hope Harrods invite me” (or whatever), does this make the sentence any less of a chestnut in most compers eyes? I think we all know the answer to that one!
The fact that most experienced compers refer to the oldest, hoariest chestnuts in an abbreviated form (“experts”…”made men too”…“excites/delights/invites”) illustrates, I think, that it’s a general idea rather than a specific phrase that achieves, at some point, chestnut status. Your killer slogan could be the most fantastically original, wonderfully clever opus ever, but if it alludes to a couplet or pun that’s won a prize before then you can expect the comments to begin.
I deliberately didn’t say “complaints” there, because most compers accept that chestnuts are always going to keep on winning prizes. It’s all part of the game. It can sometimes be annoying when a winners list contains nothing but barefaced chestnuts, but these things happen and, in the true spirit of comping, you must simply forget about the apparent injustice of it all and move on. But not before making a mental note that that particular promoter might fall into the same trap next time, of course! And if you can’t beat ‘em……!
Another area of debate in the “chestnut” world is – when exactly does copying or adapting another slogan move from being theft or plagiarism of someone’s original work, to being an acceptable exploitation of something firmly in the public domain? It’s difficult to know where to draw the line, and don't forget that even the likes of “experts” and “made men too” were original slogans once! I can only hope that the original authors of these classics received some handsome rewards before others jumped on the bandwagon – but like it or not they’ve now crossed over into public ownership. Direct copying of an original, new winning slogan could, on the other hand, be seen differently by many compers. Again, I have no intention of passing judgement on whether this is unethical or unsporting – we all have our own opinions – but it’s a difficult area. For a slogan to achieve true chestnut status, it must win lots of competitions. Which means that at least a few people must be prepared to use the slogan when it’s arguably still at the ‘original’ stage. With such a classic Catch 22 situation, and such blurred indistinct boundaries, it’s not an argument that I intend getting involved in. Like so many other aspects of comping, it’s a subject about which you must make up your own mind and proceed in a manner with which you are comfortable. Just try not to impose your own values and opinions on others, live and let live, because otherwise that’s when the fighting starts!
Following on from the “when does a slogan become a chestnut” debate, we could argue that there’s a time when a chestnut becomes almost original again. If a historic slogan falls out of fashion and lies dormant for a while, the time will invariably come when, with a brief dusting down and an injection of newer, more contemporary references, an old chestnut once again becomes ripe for the picking. Consider “I’m no Krystal in suspenders, more like Pauline in Eastenders”. I might be wrong, but at the time of writing this I haven’t seen this blast from the past feature in any winners lists for a good while. The ‘Krystal’ bit would need some tweaking obviously – perhaps replacing with one of the Footballers Wives or similarly glamorous current soap star – but the rest still stands up, twenty years after the slogan first appeared. But, once a chestnut always a chestnut I suppose, and doubtless anything along these lines on a winners list even after such a long time away will still attract the customary hoots of derision from those of us with long memories.
From my own years of experience, I say that we should not judge chestnuts too harshly. In any case, any comper who claims never to have used or adapted one in a time of need is probably a liar (or at the very least has a most selective memory)! Chestnuts regularly win competitions which means, like it or not, that they are often just what a judge is looking for. And, snobbery aside, you’ll only ever win a competition if you give a judge what they’re looking for (an obvious statement, but one that you’d be wise never to forget!). You might be able to claim the moral high ground after slaving over an original slogan, but what location would you prefer… the aforementioned moral high ground or a nice sandy beach somewhere, complete with spending money?
Personally, I’m not averse to using the occasional chestnut. I’ve had plenty of my own original slogans stolen or adapted by others over the years after all, so it’s simply a case of ‘swings and roundabouts’ so far as I’m concerned! But then again, can we be sure that our claims of ‘original’ will always stand up anyway? Many ‘original’ slogans turn out to be either adaptations of earlier successes, or follow a similar style, template or idea. Some could inadvertently duplicate (or at least pay homage to!) past winners without the writer even realising it. There’s no law against two people having the same idea after all.
Chestnuts are – and, like it or not, always will be – a feature of comping. Ignore (or, worse still, haughtily dismiss) them at your peril. They’ll always impact on you, either as an occasional or regular user yourself, or as someone who tries their best to steer clear of them only to be beaten to a prize by one with alarming regularity. There’s no right or wrong opinion on the subject – but can giving a promoter exactly what they want really be that unfair or unethical? The particular circumstances of a competition sometimes means that a chestnut is an acceptable strategy anyway, and for someone just starting out in our hobby a chestnut or two can give a great confidence boost and kick start their own original ideas. So, chestnuts aren’t all bad – and let’s be brutally honest, they’ve probably won a prize or three in the past for most people reading this! Yes, even you – the one looking down your nose at the page, shaking your head and tut-tutting snootily. Go on, be a devil and admit it… and yes, it does count if you entered in someone else’s name!
It seems a good point at the end of this particular article to answer the questions that I’ve received asking for my views on slogan books and also competition books in general. I think that a well laid out, properly indexed and cross referenced slogan book can sometimes be useful as a ‘creative catalyst’, and I certainly like to think that people buy them to encourage their own ideas rather than to simply copy the lines that they like (or am I being a little naïve here?!). Alas, many of the slogan books on the market are simply lists and lists of winning slogans in no particular order, with little or no indexing, complete with duplicate entries and the most mundane and uninspiring winners. These can often be more hindrance than help when you’re seeking inspiration and I have to question the value of these for anyone other than the keenest comping completist. After all, if it’s unadorned lists that you’re after then you can build up your own collection from the pages of Compers News each month, so just buy yourself a scrapbook and a pot of glue and save yourself some money! Turning to comping books in general, again there are many different kinds of books out there all aimed at different kinds of comper. There’s very little left for a wizened old entrant like me to learn (so I’d like to think, anyway!), so I have to admit that my own library is very much biased towards tomes from the sixties and seventies written by the comping stars of the time. All very detailed and worthy, and still cracking good reads, but sadly ‘of their time’ in style and content and increasingly irrelevant to today’s trends and techniques. There are some good books currently available though which give basic, solid, contemporary advice to people just starting out, or those who want to improve their skills and understanding of the hobby. Personally I think that it’s a good idea for every comper to have at least one or two of these books, the better ones being not just handy reference points but also interesting and entertaining reads.
If anyone can recommend books – both from the past and present – then please let me know. Even if they’re long out of print, we can look in second hand book shops and jumble sales for them if they’re that good! In the meantime, I’ll kick off with a couple of books by Lynne Suzanne that I think are a good starting point for anyone wanting to create, add to, or update their own comping library. Lynne, of course, is a very well known and successful comper who has appeared in many newspaper and magazine articles, and on several TV shows, so she knows her stuff and she presents this in a very clear, easy to understand style. Her latest book is Win Your Fortune in Prizes, which Lynne herself describes as “a fascinating tour from beginner to winner”. The book gives a very good overview of our hobby, with chapters on judging, finding entry forms, motivation, slogans and puns, and much more. This hardback book might sound expensive at £24.95, but it’s an inspirational read full of general advice, tiebreaker tips, puns and word banks and is an excellent investment.
Another of Lynne’s books (co-written by Dee Tracy) is Pun-ch Lines!, which is a great paperback volume of over 4,000 puns, word plays, captions, headlines and slogan ideas covering 43 different categories from animals to transport. This costs £21.50, but I much prefer this type of book to the usual, run-of-the-mill unstructured slogan book as it cuts out the rubbish and the duplication and concentrates on the good bits. These are then put into useful categories, and are presented in such a way that they encourage you to be creative with your own ideas rather than simply being lazy and lifting an entire slogan that you like the look of.
You can order these books at any bookshop, or use the coupon below to take advantage of some special offers that Jane has negotiated, only for Compers News readers. You can buy Win Your Fortune in Prizes for just £22 – a saving of £2.95, and also get a FREE Intaslogans Motoring booklet of specially selected slogans to help you win cars. And Pun-ch Lines! costs only £18 with this offer – a saving of £3.50. All prices include UK p&p. I can certainly recommend both books, so why not be a devil and treat yourself? Look on it as an investment that will repay itself many times over once the prizes start rolling in!
Finally this month (before I qualify for squatters’ rights and Jane drags me away kicking and screaming!), I would just like to say a huge and sincere thank you to everyone who has taken the time and trouble to write letters and post messages on Chatterbox about the column. I do read every letter, and will get around to covering your questions here one day – promise! – but I am most grateful for all of the lovely comments about how helpful people are finding these articles. It’s so good to know that I’m encouraging a few of you to try out new things, and to start enjoying this great hobby a bit more (my piece about only spending time going for prizes that you actually want to win seems to have struck a particular chord!), so a big thank you to you all and do please keep those questions, comments and ideas coming.
Smid x
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